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First Date Advice
Do some preparation before you start
Get an email address specifically for you online dating search.
It's also a good idea to get at least one or two Instant Messenger accounts.
So set up a couple of IM accounts preferably with AOL/Netscape and Yahoo,
specifically for this kind of thing. (See
Online Dating - Getting Prepared).
Choose a dating site
They're not all the same. There's a huge number of sites to choose
from with a dizzying array of features. Don't just join the first dating
site you see. Be sure to read some reviews, and compare features and prices,
before diving in.
Choosing a username/screenname
Think up a cool username. It's the first thing people see about you.
If you're stuck, think about your interests, where you live or who you are.
If you like gardening, try secretgarden. If that's taken then you could add your
location, or the current year: NYCsecretgarden, secretgarden2005, etc. Do also check
out what other members call themselves.
Take your time writing your profile
Write down a few notes about your personality, your positive attributes,
interests, likes, dislikes, before you begin to write your profile.
(See
How to write an online dating profile).
Update Your Profile Frequently
Keep your profile up to date even if you are happy with it because sites will
display when your profile was last updated and allow members to search by those
most recently changed.
Check for spelling mistakes
Do remember to run a spell check before you post your profile.
Sloppy spelling will put some potential partners off.
Do make sure you stand out from the crowd!
Make sure you post
recent photo of yourself.
Personal ads with a photo attract more than five times the number of responses!
Be honest
Be honest about your personality, looks, marital status. There's not much point in
writing about the person you'd like to be, as your potential partner will figure out
there's something wrong, when you finally meet. But by all means make the most
of your assets!
Stay anonymous at the beginning
As you build trust, you can reveal more about yourself.
At first don't reveal your full name, where you live or other contact
information in the early stages.
(See
Online Dating Safety Tips).
Keep things positive.
Play on your personal strengths and enthusiasm, and share a little something
personal about yourself. Avoid negativity and avoid sounding like a victim.
For Men
Avoid stating what type of person you want in your profile. Instead describe the kind
of person you are, and let those reading your profile decide if they're compatible.
For Women
For women it's ok to state the type of person you want to meet (the good news),
because there are more men searching for women than vice-versa! Having said that,
remember your chances of meeting someone wonderful increase if your criteria
are not too restrictive!
Selection criteria
Don't have a list of characteristics that your potential partner
must have, instead have a list of those that they
should
not have. Selection this way round will
increase the number of potential partners but without the red flags!
If meeting for the first time
Meet somewhere that's public and busy, but not so
noisy that you can't hear each other. And make sure you know the route home. Don't
get stranded. See
First Date Advice.
Do bring your cell phone.
Contrary to some advice we have read about dating, you need your cell phone.
Yes, they can be annoying to your date if someone calls you, but you can
always call them back! You might need your phone if you've got to call a cab, or
for some other unforeseen emergency.
NEXT ARTICLE -
Online Dating Do's and Don'ts (Pt. 2)