Not much worthwhile
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24 Jun, 2010This book makes some good points, but most of them are what I would consider obvious, while the suggestions unique to the book are more or less worthless. The authors suggest that if women don't follow the rules to the letter that it is extremely rare for a relationship to result from it and work out.
I met my absolutely amazing boyfriend online, and according to this book I broke the rules right and left and by all accounts should not even be in a relationship right now. Some of them I followed just by happenstance: he wrote me first, he asked me out first.
But my username had nothing to do with my age and appearance, as the rules say it should. I had 5 photos (and my main photo was of me in heavy Halloween makeup) where they say you should have only one headshot. My profile was a long, rambling, stream of consciousness that mentioned everything from my childhood, to my bipolar disorder, to my daughter from a previous marriage and tubal ligation, whereas the rules say it should be short, shallow, and incompletely filled out. He emailed me around 11pm on a Sunday night and I wrote back immediately (rules say to wait 24 hours and not write back on weekends). We emailed back and forth about 8 or 9 times before he asked me out (the rules limit you to 4). The emails were long, drawn out, and discussed many heavy topics (the rules say to limit them to a few sentences and be "light and breezy").
On our first date we both talked about our exes. I asked him out for the second date. We went out all the time on weeknights. I asked him if he wanted to be exclusive after a week, right after the third date (he said yes and took down his profile that night). I told him I loved him after 3 weeks and he said it back. Right now my boyfriend should be completely bored, smothered, or both. He should have disappeared by now, or told me he wanted to take things slower and then start ignoring my calls. Instead things are wonderful and get better each day. He sent me a text first thing this morning to wish me a happy 5 months. :)
The important thing, I believe, is that I would not have done all of that had he not been showing the same amount of interest or more. I never really worried about how it would be received. I think if a guy shows interest and you like him, then you should show interest back.
I agree with some other reviewers who say that this book will help you meet a man, but only a specific kind of man. Not the kind of man that I am interested in dating though. If a guy is turned off merely because a woman is showing interest in him then he sounds a bit like a control freak to me. I also question how this book makes you a Creature Unlike Any Other. It seems like if you follow their rules you will just be a Creature Just Like Every Other Creature Who Bought This Book.
As I said, they do make some points that I think are true and valid: don't date a married man, don't get attached to someone you haven't met yet, be wary of long distance relationships, don't complain endlessly about your ex or your life struggles, don't try to force communication from email to phone. But I don't think there is enough good advice in this book to outweigh the not so good advice.
online rules wonderful
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28 May, 2010great book. just as good if not better than the orignal. has lots of good points and tips for ladies today in this new computer world! if your single you should get this!
Great read for people new/unsure about online dating ettiquette!
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7 May, 2010I am recently new to the online dating scene. I picked up this book thinking it would offer me some valuable information even though I was skeptical about needing "date coaching". I feel like online dating offers me a lot more success than meeting men in my current social circle. I was meeting men that I had a lot of common with, but it was turning platonic faster than I could lock in something as long term potential.
This book revealed that I was the one in control. A few of the rules are that you do not respond to an e-mail 24 hours after someone sends it to you, and that you are not to initiate a date or offer your telephone number. I thought, most of this sounds like common sense! But as I read I discovered that I was guilty of breaking many of the "rules"! After following all of the rules in this book I have actually received more quality responses than quantity!
Rule #23 really hit home with me because online dating can become very frustrating and you'll start to feel a lot of impatience. The Rules just says to play it cool and give yourself time to really know someone. I replayed a lot of my earlier dates after reading this book and realized what made them go poof!
This book really does help!
What my mother should have taught me.
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23 Mar, 2010This is one of those books that makes you think, Why didn't anyone ever teach me this in school or at home??? It is invaluable information. After I read it, I changed my online profile, stopped emailing men, and instead waited for them to email me first. The rules are so simple, they should be obvious to all, and yet, they are counter to how we've been taught to behave. I went out and got the original book, "The Rules" and read it from cover to cover in one sitting. Ladies, do yourself a big favor and READ THIS BOOK!
Rules for Online Dating
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2 Sep, 2009The RULES were definitely helpful and I saw alot of the things that I've been doing wrong. Of course, not everything will work or I think is correct but overall a very useful tool with today's online dating!
