Romancing The Web: A Therapist's Guide To The Finer Points Of Online Dating

By: Diane M. Berry
Paperback, 200 pages
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Online dating is the most efficient and effective way to meet the right partner today! Singles'bars have always been dreadful places to meet and, in our increasingly mobile society, family and friends are not always sufficiently close or available to provide potential partners as they may have been in the past. Online dating works! But the process, from logging on to walking down the aisle is fraught with danger and confusion if you don't understand how it works. Romancing the Web, the only online dating book written by a relationship therapist, is a complete reference to the finer points of this process and your ticket to success in this endeavor. Written in an eminently readable style, by a therapist with more than 12 years' experience working with singles and couples in the field, Romancing the Web is filled with real-life examples, such as the following, that help to illustrate both the problems and solutions that singles can find in their quest for companionship in cyberspace. "'Well, let's see,' Cindy begins in response to my question about her recent social engagements. 'Last Saturday I went to an Art Fair with Jake. We really had a good time. We spent the whole day there. Then on Sunday, Tom took me out to dinner at a really nice restaurant. I've been seeing him almost once a week now. On Wednesday Jeff and I went for a bike ride after work. That was fun, too. You remember him, right? The builder I told you about? And tomorrow night, Steve is taking me to a movie.' Before she discovered online dating, Cindy, a very attractive woman in her early fifties, had a great deal of difficulty finding companions to spend free time with because move of her friends, co-workers and siblings were married. As a result, she either stayed home or attended events alone--a victim of her environment and the limited resources for singles in her city. The internet, and online dating, has changed her life."

 

Guidance for the Extra Careful

- 29 Apr, 2009
As a therapist, Diane Berry has had a lot of experience with people who were fearful and timid when it came to online dating. Her guidance is pitched for those who feel a strong need for caution. One chapter holds the reader's hand while preparing an online profile and another deals with whether to use a photograph. Other books provide guidance in these areas with an eye to practicality and adventure rather than the concern for fearfulness and timidity found in this book. In my opinion, the caution becomes extreme when she tells the reader to engage in e-mail for a month and then telephone conversation for a month before agreeing to meet face-to-face. When the meeting does occur, she says to limit contact to no more than once a week for several months.

Women will probably get the most out of the tips for safety and the red flags to look for in online contacts. There certainly is value in learning the importance of safety with online contacts. But, honestly, it goes a bit far when Berry advises women to have a friend call them on a cell phone fifteen minutes into the first meeting to make sure that everything is alright. And I wholeheartedly disagree with her etiquette rule that breakups should be done in person if you met the person face-to-face, or by telephone if you talked to them on the telephone.

I don't want to be unfair to Berry; however, I think most people would become impatient with her over-cautiousness. At least, I did. If you are feeling the need for caution, then Romancing the Web is meant for you.

Gordon Scott Edwards, author of Internet Safari, Finding Love Online At 65


 

Internet Dating .... ugh

- 25 Jan, 2009
The book had a lot of good suggestions, but the problem is internet dating has no rules of etiquette. Everyone does their own thing. Consequently there is a lot of misunderstanding.

 

The book's audience seems to be catered towards those having a phobia abouit online dating

- 27 Dec, 2008
This book is very useful for those who are unsure about online dating and the value that it brings. For me, I recongnize and embrace the online dating so, it was not a perfect fit for me.

 

Not just for online dating

- 13 Feb, 2008
This book is excellent, especially for folks just getting back into dating again and who want to do it differently. She has sage advice, and really has you thinking about whether you are ready to actually do online dating.
She covers all topics with great examples. I'm on my second read and using it to reframe what I do want and how I want to get there. Highly recommend.

 

Nervous No More!

- 31 May, 2007
I'm in my 30's and recently went through a divorce. My friends kept suggesting on-line dating which didn't seem to appeal to me. I was just to nervous and uneducated with the whole thing to give it a try. One of my friends gave me a list of books to read to help me get started and one of them was Romancing The Web. Reading it helped with the nerves and I was on my way. Once I got comfortable navigating on-line I became nervous as to what would happen if I finally found someone! Resources like Romancing The Web helped me with not only the online issues(chapter 6,"The Rules"), but also with the what happens next(chapter 7, "taking it slowly"). It's an easy to read book with lots of helpful tips!